I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
