And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I did not marry a roomba.
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