I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm too high and old for this...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
