Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
