I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
