I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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