In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
