i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize