Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
