she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
