So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the day after is always just damage control
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
