Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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