She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
