come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
