i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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