Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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