yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
