I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
