guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
