I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
