I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
