some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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