doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
