he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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