5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
