i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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