Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
