My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
