I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just found puke in my bra..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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