My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
