I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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