I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
