So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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