We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
