OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize