let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
