My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
