I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i think my mom watched the whole time
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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