ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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