Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
