I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Let's get the cat blown out
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
