Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
No subtext here. People are naked.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
