At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
