no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my shit smells like andre
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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