My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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