does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
