it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
