You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
