I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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