I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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