I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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