Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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