i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
