Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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