I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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