Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
