I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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