Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
