Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Log In / Sign Up

Favorite
(908): View more from New Jersey

so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(908): so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts? http://tfl.nu/ocmm

Replies (49) Good night (1525) Bad night (5960)
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing

(1-301): View more from Maryland

that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome

(301): View more from Maryland

we agree. completely

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing (1-301): that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome (301): we agree. completely http://tfl.nu/eynh

Replies (31) Good night (8495) Bad night (629)
Favorite
(205): View more from Alabama

This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(205): This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone. http://tfl.nu/jtsj

Replies (28) Good night (621) Bad night (5000)
Favorite
(719): View more from Colorado

passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(719): passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud http://tfl.nu/qo9v

Replies (10) Good night (4024) Bad night (1178)
Favorite
(480): View more from Arizona

He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(480): He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out http://tfl.nu/x67i

Replies (2) Good night (1970) Bad night (740)
Favorite
(641): View more from Iowa

Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(641): Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples http://tfl.nu/d5pz

Replies (3) Good night (586) Bad night (1735)
Favorite
(973): View more from New Jersey

I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(973): I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst. http://tfl.nu/4se8

Replies (16) Good night (1328) Bad night (904)
Favorite
(718): View more from New York

He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(718): He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!! http://tfl.nu/xa33

Replies (7) Good night (2762) Bad night (579)
Favorite
(715): View more from Wisconsin

Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?

(1-715): View more from Wisconsin

Probably

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(715): Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment? (1-715): Probably http://tfl.nu/g5lc

Replies (2) Good night (1412) Bad night (557)
Favorite
(613): View more from Ontario

As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(613): As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'. http://tfl.nu/ayxf

Replies (14) Good night (660) Bad night (2905)
Favorite
(254): View more from Texas

I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(254): I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look http://tfl.nu/jucs

Replies (4) Good night (889) Bad night (530)
Favorite
(701): View more from North Dakota

You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(701): You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday http://tfl.nu/l516

Replies (0) Good night (557) Bad night (229)
Favorite
(323): View more from California

Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Sure lol what's that?

(323): View more from California

Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Why?

(323): View more from California

Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (366)
Favorite
(708): View more from Illinois

Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(708): Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs. http://tfl.nu/bjgi

Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (1025)
Favorite
(330): View more from Ohio

Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(330): Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them. http://tfl.nu/yzp3

Replies (0) Good night (696) Bad night (214)