We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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