Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee

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(704): View more from North Carolina

we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over

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(239): View more from Florida

When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(918): View more from Oklahoma

What'd you guys eat?

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

Literally everything that was frozen.

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(714): View more from California

If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive

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(807): View more from Ontario

I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?

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