I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.