i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
