No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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