Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
