id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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